Marriage is a complex and challenging endeavor that will leave both parties feeling strained at times over the course of years of being together. No one feels that challenge or strain more than military couples, who move every few years and are separated for long periods of time. When you come to an impasse and decide to seek counseling, you need to work with someone who can navigate a military relationship and offer actionable steps to help you rebuild trust and intimacy, while making your partner feel loved and valued while you are away on tour.

Family Separation

The months on end of time away from your family, often in an active combat zone puts an enormous amount of pressure both on the loved one that is away, and the family they leave behind. If you have children, then your spouse may feel the weight of raising the family on their own and trying to maintain the house. Separation can also lead to mistrust of the other party, be it believing they are having an affair or hiding something else.

Mental Health

There are a number of mental health conditions that could potentially affect someone in the military, especially if they were involved in active combat or were injured. PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is likely the main one you have heard of and can cause your spouse to act paranoid, anger easily, or try to self-medicate deep mental scars with drugs or alcohol. Other common mental health issues include depression, anxiety, and traumatic brain injuries due to combat.

Infidelity

Obviously, being separated from your spouse for so long can lead to feelings of longing or a desire to be intimate with someone else while you are away. Too often, home life and deployment life are deemed two different things in the mind of someone who is on tour, and this can lead to them making choices and having encounters that they never would have entertained if they were home. Mixed genders in confined spaces can also spark unexpected affairs, simply because of the proximity and loss of connection with family at home. The opposite is true as well, your spouse at home can feel the pressure and longing for intimacy and seek it out on their own, rather than waiting for months for their partner to return home.